Akatsuki Club For Morons Ch. 3

  Tobi continued to share with the Leader his strange tale. Or so we thought.

  Tobi: ... And that's how to make the perfect cheesecake!

  Leader: Yes, excellent! Good work, Tobi.

  Tobi: Yay!

  Leader: But anyway, I am confused. You said Deidara knew of your plot, but you were speaking with Hidan and Kisame at the time. How could you remember something if you weren't there?

  Tobi: (Shrugs) I 'unno.

  Leader: (Confused face) Well anyhow, continue with your explanation. And take off that ridiculous mask.

  Tobi: ... What mask?

  Leader: That one, on your face. It's all orange and swirly.

  Tobi: I have no idea what you're talking about.

  Leader: Forget it, just shut up and talk.

  Tobi: Whuh?

  Leader: DO AS LEADER HAS DONE BEFORE YOU!

  *Story time again, woot!*

  Kisame, Tobi, and Hidan were sitting in a small room, in front of a round table. They were discussing a plan to get Kakuzu's cash.

  Tobi: We're discussin'!

  Kisame and Hidan: (With no enthusiasm) Huzzah.

  They have yet to figure out any good plans.

  Tobi: So, do either of you actually know WHERE Kakuzu keeps all his money?

  Tobi and Kisame both look at Hidan.

  Hidan: What?

  Kisame: You're Kakuzu's partner, you should know this stuff.

  Hidan: I'm his partner, not his roommate, I don't know where he keeps his stuff.

  Kisame: That's enough outta you, wise guy!

  Kisame suddenly tackled Hidan and put handcuffs on him.

  Hidan: What the hell, Kisame?!

  Kisame: You're under arrest!

  Hidan: For what?! You're not even a cop!

  Kisame: You are in direct violation of the law!

  Hidan: You're in direct violation of your face!

  Kisame: In direct violation LIKE A FOX!

  Tobi: Guys, knock it off. If you keep goofing off, they'll cancel the prom!

  Kisame and Hidan: Not the prom!

  Kisame removed the handcuffs from Hidan. They all got up and started to perform a rendition of Singing In The Rain without warning or reason, but quit halfway through due to severe budget cuts.

  Tobi: We could've finished if we had Kakuzu's money.

  Hidan: I could've been a star!

  Kisame: Will my Broadway dreams never come to fruition?

  Tobi, Hidan, and Kisame: Woe and lamentation!

  The three crawled into the corner of the room and became emo. They weeped for 15 minutes and refused to stop until one of them performed an Irish jig. They drew straws, and eventually forced Kisame to dance, or they'd break his kneecaps. Afterwards, they all went back to the table. Unfortunately, they still didn't have a plan for their heist.

  Kisame: Maybe what we could do is have someone go incognito and follow Kakuzu around for the rest of the week.

  Tobi: I'm not gonna do it.

  Kisame: Why not?

  Tobi: Because he's scary. He's got tentacles and stuff. You know what guys with tentacles do to their victims.

  Hidan: Tobi, have you been watching my hentai videos?

  Kisame: Hidan watches hentai?

  Tobi: I thought it was Super Awesome Seizure Robots, but when I turned it on, I saw lots of school girls and tentacles!

  Hidan: Tobi, you bastard, I was looking for that one!

  Kisame: Tobi watches Super Awesome Seizure Robots?

  Tobi: Hidan, you're disgusting!

  Kisame: This guy likes to stab himself for pleasure, and you just now think he's disgusting for watching porn?

  Hidan: You're just a couple of douchebags! Fuck this, I'm not gonna help you.

  Kisame and Tobi both look at each other, shocked.

  Kisame: No, you can't leave! You know too much already!

  Tobi: Besides, we still need someone to follow Kakuzu!

  Hidan: Why can't shark breath do it?

  Kisame: I'm too big, he'd notice me. Besides, you're the shortest of us three, you wouldn't be as easy to spot.

  Hidan: And if I do this for you, what's in it for me?

  Tobi: Uh, HELLO, all the money we'll steal?

  Hidan: Oh, right.

  Kisame: Now, what we'll have you do is dress up like this house plant. (Points to a plant in the corner)

  Hidan: Oh come on, he's gonna figure that out.

  Kisame: No he won't.

  Hidan: Hey, I'm his battle partner, I'm pretty sure he's smarter than that.

  Some time passed. Hidan was now sitting in the hallway, disguised as the plant. Kakuzu walked by.

  Kakuzu: (Stares at plant) Hmmm... I don't remember a plant being here.

  Hidan: (In head) Oh shit, he figured it out. I knew he would. Those idiots really thought this would work?

  Kakuzu: Leader must have put it here today. He sure loves him some house plants. (Walks away)

  Hidan: ... You've got to be kidding me.

  Zetsu walked up to the Hidan plant, and, not knowing it wasn't a real plant, began to hit on it.

  Zetsu: (In flirty voice) How you doin'?

  Hidan: (In head) God dammit.